Something that’s coming up in my practice pretty often these days is that clients are making comments using the phrase “I blew it”. We’ve all heard this expression before (maybe we’ve even said it ourselves!).
“I blew it” usually means that I just did something I wish I hadn’t done. It’s impossible to change it after the fact, and where we get into serious trouble is when we use this “blown” action, to validate or excuse the next actions we’re about to take.
I remember using the “I blew it” philosophy during my high school days. If I got a low score on a test, rather than study for the next test, I’d just tell myself “I already blew this marking period with that low score last week, so it won’t matter what I score on this test. I’ll just start studying next marking period”.
This “I blew it” rationale definitely didn’t serve my grade point average well in high school and I’m now seeing how it doesn’t serve my clients very well either.
What I finally realized much later in my schooling days was that one test score was going to affect my grade however it was going to affect my grade. But where I actually hurt myself was when I let that low grade affect how I did things in the future. Sure, hindsight is 20-20, but I can only imagine how much higher my grades could have been if, rather than using the “I blew it” philosophy, I just told myself “Okay, this grade just took me a little further away from my goal. What can I do now to get a little closer?”
It’s a little late for my grades now. But we can all be a little gentler on ourselves for some of the things we do.
It does happen sometimes that we overeat.
It does happen sometimes that we miss a workout.
It does happen sometimes that we make poor food choices.
Let’s all do ourselves a favor next time. Instead of using the “I blew it” philosophy, let’s just ask ourselves compassionately “what can I do now that will get me CLOSER to my goal?
Try it. See how it feels. And let me know.
