Blue Rose Coaching

Swimming With A Crutch

Most of you already know I’ve been swimming a lot to get ready for my first triathlon coming up this summer. But I don’t think I’ve written yet about this “pull-buoy” I’ve been working out with.

 

I started using this small flotation device (that fits snugly between my knees while swimming) because I was having trouble with my kick. No matter how I altered my kick, my lower body wanted to sink.

 

Another swimmer suggested I try the buoy because it would help me stay afloat while I was learning to work the breathing. She was right. So, I figured I’d just swim with the buoy until I get my wetsuit, because I’m told that the wetsuit really helps with flotation.

 

So, here I am six months pre-race, still swimming with my pull-buoy and an elderly man in the pool begins telling me how I should try the same swimming stroke he’s using. He was proud of this stroke he researched on the Internet and he thought I should try it. So I did… with my pull-buoy.

 

After a couple laps, I asked him what he thought of my new stroke and he said that in order for me to do it right, I needed to drop the buoy. Not intending to sound insulting, he said that I was moving through the water like a barge, and that I needed to move more efficiently, like a yacht. He went on to say that I needed to get rid of my “crutch”.

 

Ouch!

 

He was so right. I had allowed myself to become dependent on this foam device and I really doubted that I could swim without it.

 

That was the story on WHY I dropped the pull-buoy last Friday. Today was my second full workout without it and I swam thirty laps (more than ¾ mile). Not only am I amazed that I’m doing this, but it feels so much better.

 

I had to thank George today for saving me from drowning in that sad story. I had convinced myself that I could not swim without help. The pull-buoy was helping me stay afloat, but it was also holding me back from doing what I can totally do for myself. My body may have been floating, but my dream to swim by myself was sinking.

 

This makes me think… are there other things in my life that I’m using as crutches? Any other dreams I'm allowing to sink? Hmmm? How about you? Got any sad stories being told in your head?

Closer Or Farther Away?

Something that’s coming up in my practice pretty often these days is that clients are making comments using the phrase “I blew it”. We’ve all heard this expression before (maybe we’ve even said it ourselves!).

 

“I blew it” usually means that I just did something I wish I hadn’t done. It’s impossible to change it after the fact, and where we get into serious trouble is when we use this “blown” action, to validate or excuse the next actions we’re about to take.

 

I remember using the “I blew it” philosophy during my high school days. If I got a low score on a test, rather than study for the next test, I’d just tell myself “I already blew this marking period with that low score last week, so it won’t matter what I score on this test. I’ll just start studying next marking period”.

 

This “I blew it” rationale definitely didn’t serve my grade point average well in high school and I’m now seeing how it doesn’t serve my clients very well either.

 

What I finally realized much later in my schooling days was that one test score was going to affect my grade however it was going to affect my grade. But where I actually hurt myself was when I let that low grade affect how I did things in the future. Sure, hindsight is 20-20, but I can only imagine how much higher my grades could have been if, rather than using the “I blew it” philosophy, I just told myself “Okay, this grade just took me a little further away from my goal. What can I do now to get a little closer?”

 

It’s a little late for my grades now. But we can all be a little gentler on ourselves for some of the things we do.

 

It does happen sometimes that we overeat.

It does happen sometimes that we miss a workout.

It does happen sometimes that we make poor food choices.

 

Let’s all do ourselves a favor next time. Instead of using the “I blew it” philosophy, let’s just ask ourselves compassionately “what can I do now that will get me CLOSER to my goal?

 

Try it. See how it feels. And let me know.

 

Draw The Line In 2009!

Oprah’s at it again. She’s using her most challenging personal situation -- her weight (most recently, her 40 pound gain) -- to appeal to us all. Her message, as I’m hearing it, is plain and simple: “Hey People—I’ve taken myself off my own priority list and look what it’s done to me. My name’s going back at the top of that list! How ‘bout joining me?”

 

Could she be any more direct???

 

Any of us who aren’t happy with the results we’re getting in our lives are smart to join Oprah on this worthwhile adventure. Her experts are on board and brilliant ideas for self-improvement are everywhere – television, magazine, XM Radio.

 

They’re educating us with first-rate suggestions and it’s all boiling down to one thing – self-love.

 

Let’s not waste time focusing on WHY we fell off the self-love wagon. But let’s do focus on what we CAN do to jump back on and stay there.

 

I’m telling all my clients that it’s time to draw the line in 2009! It’s time to look at the things we do that don’t serve us and love ourselves enough to stop doing them. It’s time too, to think about the things we “wish” we were doing and start doing them.

 

Draw the line… on thinking trash about ourselves.

 

Draw the line… on feeling lousy because of something someone else said or did.

 

Draw the line… on judging ourselves based on how we look, or the number on the scale.

 

Draw the line… on stuffing our emotions with food.

 

Draw the line… on thinking we “can’t” do something just because we haven’t done it in the past.

 

These are just the beginning… where else can YOU draw a line in 2009?

 

Nobody Wants To Listen To A Complainer

Are you a “complainer”? Or has anyone ever said that you were?

 

I recently met with a friend whose child told her that nobody wants to listen to a complainer. Her understanding of her daughter’s remark was that whenever she had something negative to say, she should instead keep the comment to herself. I guess this would be the equivalent of what Mom used to tell me – “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

 

So, what should my friend do when she’s not happy about something?

 

Really, the only thing that could help is to change how she’s thinking about it.

 

Doing anything else is just creating damage.

 

Here’s why… instead of verbalizing aloud whatever is bothering her, my friend is choosing to keep these thoughts and emotions bottled inside with absolutely no outlet. She says she hates how all this negativity feels.

 

And you guessed it -- when she stresses, she overeats.

 

I’m guessing that not having to listen to a complaining mother is making her daughter happy. But it’s making my friend miserable.

 

We had a great conversation and she says she plans on using the self-coaching techniques we talked about. If you don’t already know what these are, they’re the work of Brooke Castillo and can be learned from her book Self Coaching 101 which can be purchased from Amazon. I think the tools in this book are priceless!

 

Anyway, forget whether anyone wants to listen to a complainer. Who really wants to BE one?

 

Being a complainer feels crappy inside. We can all avoid that feeling by changing what we think.

 

You gotta love teenagers. They really can stimulate some helpful discussions!

 

Take That Power BACK!

There’s a question in the Prework packet I send to all my new clients that asks, “Do you think you’ll be successful with this weight loss program?” And while many of the responses are very positive, the ones that say “I hope so” and the ones that list contingencies are the ones I find most fascinating! 

This is always an area I like to explore right in the beginning because there’s so much there! 

When I use the word “hope”, I use it in reference to something I’d like to have happen, but that I don’t think I have control over. For example, I’ll say, “I hope you feel better” to someone who’s sick. Or “I hope you get into the college of your choice” to someone who’s applying to schools. The reality in both these situations is that I really can’t affect the outcome of either one.

But, for someone to say that they hope they’ll be able to lose weight, I see a big red flag signaling that this person really doesn’t know how much control is right there inside her. Someone who hopes for her own success is judging her present ability based on her past performance. How do I know this? 

Because I have waved that flag myself. 

Here’s my story… I used to think that my body was the size it was because of my genes and my habits. I knew my genes couldn’t’ change and I thought my habits couldn’t either. Until one day… July 6, 1980. That’s when I made the decision that I could create change IF I DECIDED TO. I’ll never forget that day. It was a day when I took back my own power. It felt awesome. The weight didn’t come off that day, but I knew it would. I knew what I needed to do and my new mindset made it easier for me to do it. Notice that before the weight could come off, the mindset had to change. 

How about you? Have you ever hoped for something without realizing just how much control you have in getting it? 

Set yourself up for success by KNOWING rather than hoping. While the fact may be that you have not been successful in the past, all that means is that you have not yet discovered the power that exists within you. It didn’t just happen that one day for me… I consciously decided to do it. You can too!

Let today be the day you take YOUR power back!

 

 

Eating Whatever You Truly Want

Six days and counting. That Thanksgiving turkey will soon be exiting the oven door.

 

What are you thinking about as this food-focused day nears?

 

Is it the turkey? The stuffing? The pies?

 

Whatever it is, I think you should eat whatever you “truly” want.

 

Do you “truly” want three helpings of stuffing with gravy? Do you “truly” want a slice each of chocolate, apple, pumpkin and lemon pies?

 

If you think you “truly” want these, maybe you do. But before answering the question, why not check in with your body first.

 

Ask your body this question: “How will this delicious food FEEL inside my body if I eat too much of it?” Close your eyes and really imagine how this food will feel inside your body. Where will you feel it? How long will you feel it? Would it be a comfortable feeling? How will it affect your energy level?

 

These are all questions I want to ask myself next Thursday as my table is COVERED with many of my favorite foods. I’ll definitely have a taste of everything I “truly” want.

 

“Truly” is of course the operative word here. Because I also “truly” want to feel comfortable by “truly” eating what feels good inside.

 

Hope your taste buds and your body find this Thanksgiving truly enjoyable!!

 

They're Just About Here!

Not to freak anyone out, but did you know we’re barely two months from the holidays? For most of us, that means we have lots of work to do in the shopping and wrapping departments. And although these may not be the most enjoyable activities, I can think of one other that usually creates even more anxiety for those trying to lose weight -- holiday gatherings.

 

If you’re a little like me, you probably make a few lists around this time of year. I have a “People to buy for” list, “Things my family has asked for” list, “Where I’ve hidden certain gifts” list, “Parties to attend list”, “Dinner Menu” list, and of course several ongoing “Grocery” lists. So, really what’s one more list?

 

This year, for all us list-makers, I’m proposing a new type of list. After all, we’ve gotten into this list-making habit because it works for us. Right? It keeps us more organized. It helps us plan. It provides those little reminders when there’s so much going on around us.

 

This holiday season, I’m suggesting to all my clients (and anyone reading this) that we use our organization skills as we try to have a little fun with those often-dreaded holiday parties and dinners. Let’s face it – the reason we dread and try to avoid these gatherings is mostly because of the food. We think that if we don’t go to the party, then we can’t overeat or eat the wrong foods. But really, is this any way for us to enjoy our holidays?

 

So, make a list in advance of all your favorite foods you usually meet up with during the holiday season. Create four columns and in the first column list all your favorites – especially your grandmother’s pumpkin pie, Mom’s four-cheese lasagna, Aunt Marge’s cheesecake, and your boss’s wife’s Gingerbread cookies. You get the idea… write down all your favorites.

 

Then, label the headings of the next three columns “Nutrition”, “Lightness” and “Taste”.

 

Next, rate each food from 1-10. (1= very little; 10=lots!)

1. How much nutrition will this food provide your body?
2. How light will one serving of this food make your body feel?
3. How much do you love this food’s taste?
4. Then, total each row.

 

Here’s my list…

 

Food	Nutrition	Lightness	Taste	Total
Mashed potatoes & gravy	5	3	7	15
Sweet potato casserole	5	4	8	17
Squash	7	8	10	25
Clams Casino	3	5	8	16
Cut-out cookies	1	4	10	15
Linguine with clam sauce	6	6	9	21
Pistachio Jello	1	3	9	13

 

Even though this is just a sample of my favorite holiday foods, what I like most about my list is that it shows me comparisons. I chose to compare nutrition, lightness, and taste because these are what matter most to me when deciding which foods to put into my body.

 

Now that I have a list, I can use it to plan before I attend my holiday gatherings. Even though I can’t predict every type of food at each party, I’ll be more prepared just by imagining what foods might be there. For example, since feeling light in my body is important, I’ll want to take it very easy on those mashed potatoes and gravy, because they have a very low rating on my “lightness” scale.

 

Most importantly, by creating this list, I’m taking the time to think about what each food will do for my body. I’m recognizing more than just taste. I’m recognizing my body’s health. I’m creating a list of information that I can use in my effort to make healthy choices.

 

So, really… what’s one more list? And unlike all your other lists… this one’s all about You!

Who's In For Creating Miracles?

I obviously had no idea what I was in for when I declared my candidacy for next year’s Skinnyman Triathlon. Sure, I knew I hadn’t swam with my face in the water since the age of fifteen... and even then, swimming laps was never my thing. But how hard could it be to learn?

Answer: really hard!

I started swimming one week ago today in my backyard pool. So, there I was, looking really “hot” in my swim cap and goggles as I struggled to make it those 36 feet from the shallow end to the diving board. Most of the time I had my head above water simply because I just couldn’t get that breathing thing right. 

Then the weather got colder this week, so I trucked myself over to the community college indoor pool. I’m not sure how long those lanes are, but they’re WAY longer than 36 feet. Anyway, the lifeguard said that a half-mile would be 36 lengths of the pool. Gulp! I didn’t even attempt ONE length solo, but I did swim 16 laps Monday and 26 laps today with my kick board, as I practiced the breathing.

My plan is to swim laps three mornings each week. I’ve got 51 weeks until the triathlon, so Friday is when I ditch the kick board and begin with lap #1. Next week, I’ll add lap #2. And I’ll continue adding one lap each week.

This could feel like a lot of work. But it doesn’t. Yes, it’s hard. But it’s the kind of “hard” that truly brings me joy. 

It’s the kind of challenge that tastes absolutely delicious!

I get to push myself out of my comfort zone, experience this sport in a way I never have, and train for a competition I never considered myself capable of competing in.

This one year of training reminds me of my weight loss clients who tell me, “It’ll take me a whole year to lose this weight.” They may be right. It may take a year. But I can tell them from my own experience, that there’s so much joy to be had in the process of losing the weight. I mean, the weight coming off is awesome and it’s healthy... but what’s absolutely amazing is that we’re all doing something we thought impossible. By taking on the challenge, making our way past all the obstacles, and staying on course, we are creating our own miracles! 

How cool is that?

Next year’s coming, my friends, and either we’ll have created our own miracles... or not!

Which feels better to you?

 

I'm Doing It!

“Exhilarating” is the only word that can describe the feeling I had while attending the Skinnyman Triathlon early Saturday morning. I took the 20-minute rainy drive to Skaneateles (pronounced Skinny-Atlas) mainly because of my overwhelming curiosity. For some reason, people who have completed triathlons have been coming into my life this past year and I notice myself often thinking about what it would be like to prepare and compete in one.

As I stood under my umbrella watching 600 people moving in the 57 degree water, I imagined myself out in their midst. Even typing this right now, I feel the exhilaration (there’s that word again!). Swimming may be my weakest of the three events, but I imagined myself wearing one of those M&M-colored swim caps and swimming the half-mile trek. I envisioned myself so zoned into the competition that my wet suit-covered body was moving swiftly with the finesse of Michael Phelps.

So, was this all a dream? Or is it the beginning of my creation?

Since this is an annual Labor Day weekend event, I’m assuming that next year’s Skinnyman Triathlon will take place on Saturday, September 5th, which happens to be my 50th birthday! How cool would that be to compete in my very first triathlon on my 50th birthday? There’s that “exhilarating” feeling again!

Do I think it’ll be easy? Absolutely not!

Training for the event will take me WAY out of my comfort zone. It’s going to yank me out of my basement workouts and send me biking and running outdoors... not to mention swimming in those cold indoor swimming pools during the Central New York winter!

It’ll be a challenge. 

There may be days when I want to give up. Maybe.

To help myself along the way, I’m going to use a tool I use with my weight loss clients. Whenever I have an excuse not to go out and train, I’m going to write it down on paper. Then I’m going out to train anyway. 

After all, those excuses are just thoughts. 

They’re only true if I believe them. 

If I do believe them, I don’t train and I don’t reach my goal. 

If I don’t believe them, I do train, and I move closer and closer to finishing that triathlon.

One thing I know for sure is that if I THINK I can finish the triathlon, then I WILL finish the triathlon.

This is the mindset that’s going to get me to that finish line.

Next year at this time, I’ll let you know what my times were. 

In the meantime, I’ve got training to do!

 

How I Enjoy EVERY Dessert I Want

The other day, as my husband, daughter and I stood in line at Starbucks, I couldn’t help but notice the delicious desserts on display in the case. The line was moving pretty slowly, so I had plenty of time to notice lots of my favorite goodies.

There was a double dark chocolate cupcake with fudgy frosting that looked rich and delicious.

Then I noticed a very pretty petite lemon iced bundt cake.

Recognizing my chocolate fetish, there was a chocolate cheesecake screaming my name.

I couldn’t help but enjoy every single one of them… without eating one bite!

I stared into that case, appreciating the texture, beauty, color, and imagined taste of each one of my favorites. What came to mind was a time that I had sworn off cake just because I could find no other way to keep myself from eating more than one piece at a time.

I was just in my twenties. I made sure to tell my grandmother that cake was no longer an option for me, so she should not bake my favorite chocolate cake each and every week. But Gram was in denial that her favorite customer was no longer in the market for cake. She continued baking the cakes… and I continued enjoying them… in my own new way.

I soon figured out that in addition to the taste, I also LOVED the sight and smell of those cakes. So I would pick up the entire cake while I looked and sniffed and continue looking and sniffing until I wanted to look and sniff no more.

You know what? It worked. While I always thought I needed to eat to satisfy a craving, I figured out that I had two other senses (sight and smell) that could appreciate dessert without adding to my hips.

At Starbucks, my daughter jumped in on the fun as we debated whether the chocolate cupcake or the vanilla cupcake was more appealing. I guess it’s simply a matter of personal preference – just like how we choose to appreciate extra dessert.

For those times when you’ve already reached your Joy food quota, try using your other senses to appreciate whatever desserts you want. Hey, it works for me… and my thinner hips prove it!